Ebook Free The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps, by Melissa Orlov
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps, by Melissa Orlov
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An invaluable resource for couples in which one of the partners suffers from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), this authoritative book guides troubled marriages towards an understanding and appreciation for the struggles and triumphs of a relationship affected by it, and to look at the disorder in a more positive and less disruptive way. Going beyond traditional marriage counseling, this discussion offers advice from the author's personal experience and years of research and identifies patterns of behavior that can hurt marriages-such as nagging, intimacy problems, sudden anger, and memory issues-through the use of vignettes and descriptions of actual couples and their ADHD struggles and solutions. This resource encourages both spouses to become active partners in improving their relationship and healing the fissures that ADHD can cause.
- Sales Rank: #6410517 in Books
- Published on: 2017-03-14
- Formats: Audiobook, CD, Unabridged
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 5.30" h x 1.10" w x 6.40" l,
- Running time: 8 Hours
- Binding: Audio CD
Review
"The ADHD Effect is a brilliant compilation of what you can do if you are in a marriage where one or both of you have ADHD. It is a life-saver of a book." ---Dr. Edward Hallowell, coauthor of Driven to Distraction
From the Inside Flap
"This book provides an incredibly valuable service to those struggling in a marriage with ADHD. Written by someone who has been there and knows firsthand how ADHD can disrupt a marriage, it will help couples truly understand ADHD, realize they are not alone, and teach them what specifically can be done to align together as a team to turn things around. Ms. Orlov has done a wonderful job of providing knowledge, awareness, and hope to those who sorely need it." -Kevin Murphy, PhD, co-author of ADHD in Adults: What the Science Says"The ADHD Effect is an exceptional book that addresses the complexity of the relationship between partners whose lives are affected by ADHD while presenting sound family system principles in an easy-to-understand and accessible way...I would highly recommend this book to my clients, their partners, and to couple therapists who want to learn to effectively guide couples in marriages challenged by The ADHD Effect." -Sari Solden, MS, LMFT, author of Journeys Through ADDulthood"Orlov's work is a beacon of light and hope, offering strategies that help couples feel happier and more satisfied." -Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA, author of More Attention, Less Deficit
From the Back Cover
"Why wait until your therapist tells you to buy this book? Buy it now and save yourselves a lot of pain and money. This book will help you make your ADHD marriage work better so you can both have a happy, healthy lifetime of love." -Jonathan Scott Havlerstadt, LMFT, author of ADD & Romance
Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
A must-read guide for ADHD marriage
By Leslie M.
I read in an article somewhere that most people who get out of an ADHD marriage wonder how they survived such a "train wreck". I have been married to an ADHD husband for 37 years. And I have an 18 year old ADHD daughter. I feel like I have been through years of train wrecks. It's exhausting. I hired an ADD coach for myself who reminded me I was living with two "aliens". When my husband poo-pooed the coach's suggestions, coach wished me luck with the frustrations to come. I want to separate from my spouse.
I wish I'd had this book 30 years ago. Melissa's story is my story. Exactly. But, I began drinking heavily to deal with the stress and denial of my family members that they had any disorder. Feeling ignored and attacked, that "I was the one with the problem" finally has finished it for me. I had to get to Alcoholics Anonymous seeking recovery help from alcoholism and depression.
Everything Melissa Orlov mentions is spot on. There is work that must be willingly undertaken by both spouses in order for the marriage to survive. My daughter and husband finally agreed to evaluations which recommended taking meds which all the docs agreed they needed. And they love how their meds help them. But they won't do the additional cognitive behavioral piece which absolutely should happen--because this affects me heavily. They don't see the value; they refuse to hear how difficult living with their behavior can be for me.
I hate to say my marriage is done, but I am holding on only until my daughter leaves for college. If you have an ADHD or ADD spouse, read this now and seriously follow Melissa's suggestions. Do the work in loving kindness and with the expectation that you both want the best for each other. Be willing, honest, open to change and help with this neurological disorder. Don't let train wrecks of alienation, affairs, fighting, and resentments rule your life. Sadly, I have come to realize how much happier I am when I am alone, especially for long stretches of time, at peace, living in a way that nurtures and doesn't suck the soul out of me.
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
Helps end the struggling
By Amazon Customer
I am a non ADHD spouse living with an ADHD husband and having raised an ADHD child (who is now an adult). After a 43 year struggling marriage, this book validated every feeling I have had for all these years. It helped me to understand the struggle my spouse and adult child go through on a daily bais. This brings understanding for me, help with my frustrations, validation of my feelings and what I have been going through and empathy for those who live in the world differently than me. I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book. I only wish I had read it 40 years ago. I love my family and their ADHD personalities. Yes, I would change a few things if I could, but all in all, they are wonderful people just looking for recognition, understanding and love.
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Hits painfully close to home
By BarbaraC
My husband and I have been married for 31 years. Our daughter was diagnosed with ADHD when she was 17. As I educated myself about ADHD, our daughter's diagnosis not only explained a lot about certain behavior issued we'd had with her over the years, it also explained a lot about my husband and our marriage. Even though my husband has not been professionally evaulated for ADHD, over the years he has displayed many of the behaviors associated with the disorder. As I read through this book, it felt like Orlov has had a hidden camera trained on our marriage.
I found it to be a difficult, or perhaps I should say uncomfortable, book to read. Yes, many of my husband's patterns of behavior are described, and so are many of my own that have been in reaction to him (and not all of them are flattering). ADHD affects more than just the person who has it, and Orlov points out that having ADHD is not a character flaw, nor is it necessarily "a problem" even though it can have a deterimental effect on a person's life and relationships. But knowledge and information are power and this book has helped me shift my perspective on my husband, myself, and our marriage in a positive way.
I recommend this book to anyone who is in a relationship with an ADHD partner.
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